You, our enthusiastic and appreciative public, are hungry to know more of the talent that lies behind Chicken Scratch. Here is all that you long to know.

Mike can often be seen looking up stuff on his iPhone. For quick information facts, call 1-900-ASK-MIKE. $29.99 per minute, unless you have a slice of pizza.

Josh loves life more than many people have or will ever know. He loves cycling and omelets.

Trevor Bullock is the world’s preeminent leader in wonderfulness. Everything he does is gold.

Dawn was born a zygote, in the middle of Lake Erie. She’s been making up for her diminutive size with her gigantic funny ever since. She had the flipper removed from her left hand with a very successful surgery in 1982. Since then she’s enjoyed the full use of everything her right hand can do.

Jody breaks things.

Caleb Hoffert enjoys spreading debris around a 5 block radius, screaming at lampposts, taking con-calls with the voices in his head, and then hiding in a dark corner and mumbling unintelligibly at young couples who pass by. He has never called himself Hero; that title was thrust upon him by others.

At 30 years of age, Jay has not gone a single day without crying.

Shawn Kresal enjoys amateur angioplasty, and candle-lit long dramatic sniffs. He also likes corn.

Matt continues to pursue the path to perfection through the use of the three key principals, which are “Fresh,” “Presentation,” and “Fresh” again.